So we recently took a trip to wal-mart, and while we were wandering through the baby section Toby picked up a double breast pump. "Mi-pump" by the first years, it was 80$ and it looked pretty good, and since Toby was OK with it, we bought it. I was so impressed, It works great and it's 100x quieter than the evenflo comfort select. So I'm happy.
Saturday I went shopping with Kim, We went to the dollar store just for fun. At Toys r us we got a couple little baby toys for Jon. After that we went to Twisted Yogurt and got some frozen yogurt, Yum! Then before we headed home we stopped at Pennington's since i had a coupon for 25$ off, I got a pair of pants and a shirt. After that we went home and left Jon with daddy and went to Ikea just to look around, I got a really cool wall hanging storage unit shaped like a frog for the baby's room I was super happy about that! I need to get Toby to come to Ikea with me soon too though because there was a good cheap coffee table there that I liked.
I got my Taxes filed this week! I was so proud, since i filed them super late last year and it screwed me over sooo bad, I didn't file till august, and with the change of marital status everything was messed up until December, and then they reassessed me in January, and screwed me again, The worst part is now they are processing shit again since they got baby's information, It's crazy. Hopefully it wont be nearly as bad this year! I used this program i found through the CRA website "Studio Tax" It's FREE software, regardless of income, and its NETFILE certified. I'm very happy about it.
Yesterday I woke up sick, Sinus cold for the loss! So we ended up going to Sobeys to get me some medication and some snackables, It was good. I ended up getting a Tylenol Sinus combi pack, and I warned Toby that the nighttime pills would knock me on my ass, So he got to take care of baby all night. Taking care of baby is usually not much of an issue, He wakes up twice during the night for a change and feeding, no big, except he's sick too, So he was *apparently* up every 15 minutes and he was only drinking like 1-2 ounces at a time, So poor Toby got pretty much zero sleep, and i was just completely out all night! Luckily baby' nose seemed to clear up later this afternoon so hopefully he'll sleep better tonight, I know I feel a lot better today, Hopefulyl I'll be back to my old self by tomorrow.
Anyways, that's about all Ive got to say, nothign special just a random bit of babble. I'm gonna go get some sleep now since Its actually tomorrow now! Night Night!
Krysis
Monday, February 28, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
Critical Failure
I feel like I'm failing. Badly.
So, I've been having troubles with this whole breastfeeding thing, It was going well until about the 3rd week, I don't know what happened, a bad latch or, something? but I was so sore, I coudn't handle it, I was in tears trying to feed him, Toby noticed, but I was still trying, Until Jon startled, and pulled, HARD, and didn't let go. I burst out in tears and gave up, baby needed food and I coudn't do it, so just for one night I fixed a bottle of formula. Except it was more like 2 days, because that's how long it took for the pain to subside enough for me to try again, and I've just been failing since. So I've been trying to express milk so that I feel like less of a complete and utter failure, at least he's still breastfed even if it's not direct right? Except I seem to be getting less and less milk every time I pump, and he's drinking more and more. Tonight I tried again, He's only a month old, It's only been a few days since we last tried, He ate for almost 2 hours off and on, then he still needed to eat another 3 ounces of expressed milk. I was thinking about maybe getting a double pump, maybe I can keep up with it that way, This single pump isn't meant for such full time use, and I have to pump for a good 45 minutes to get enough, usually I get 4-5 oz, but if i'm lucky I can get a whole 8oz, of course that's only if I sit there and pump for an hour. Is that what I should be doing? Pumping 24/7? He seems to get more from my pumping than he does when he's on the boob himself. Which I wouldn't complain about if he seemed content when he finished a 2 hour session, but he doesn't, and that's the problem. I brought up teh double pump idea to Toby, he seemed ok with it at first, but when I look at them online or really look into it, he gets that "we can't afford your silly shit" look, like he thinks we don't really need one. Maybe we don't, maybe he's right. I'm not going to argue with him, I don't even know myself.
So what do I do? keep trying and failing slowly? If i can't start getting more milk, he's going to get more and more formula, and I'll feel like more and more of a failure. Not just to myself, but I'm failing Jon, even though he doesn't know it, and I feel like Toby sees me as a failure as well, even though he says its "OK". Everything just feels, wrong. I'm so upset and I've no clue what to do to fix it.
For nowI guess I'll just go get some sleep, going to take Chance to the playground tomorrow, and then go visiting, maybe I'll feel different in the morning... Probably not.
So, I've been having troubles with this whole breastfeeding thing, It was going well until about the 3rd week, I don't know what happened, a bad latch or, something? but I was so sore, I coudn't handle it, I was in tears trying to feed him, Toby noticed, but I was still trying, Until Jon startled, and pulled, HARD, and didn't let go. I burst out in tears and gave up, baby needed food and I coudn't do it, so just for one night I fixed a bottle of formula. Except it was more like 2 days, because that's how long it took for the pain to subside enough for me to try again, and I've just been failing since. So I've been trying to express milk so that I feel like less of a complete and utter failure, at least he's still breastfed even if it's not direct right? Except I seem to be getting less and less milk every time I pump, and he's drinking more and more. Tonight I tried again, He's only a month old, It's only been a few days since we last tried, He ate for almost 2 hours off and on, then he still needed to eat another 3 ounces of expressed milk. I was thinking about maybe getting a double pump, maybe I can keep up with it that way, This single pump isn't meant for such full time use, and I have to pump for a good 45 minutes to get enough, usually I get 4-5 oz, but if i'm lucky I can get a whole 8oz, of course that's only if I sit there and pump for an hour. Is that what I should be doing? Pumping 24/7? He seems to get more from my pumping than he does when he's on the boob himself. Which I wouldn't complain about if he seemed content when he finished a 2 hour session, but he doesn't, and that's the problem. I brought up teh double pump idea to Toby, he seemed ok with it at first, but when I look at them online or really look into it, he gets that "we can't afford your silly shit" look, like he thinks we don't really need one. Maybe we don't, maybe he's right. I'm not going to argue with him, I don't even know myself.
So what do I do? keep trying and failing slowly? If i can't start getting more milk, he's going to get more and more formula, and I'll feel like more and more of a failure. Not just to myself, but I'm failing Jon, even though he doesn't know it, and I feel like Toby sees me as a failure as well, even though he says its "OK". Everything just feels, wrong. I'm so upset and I've no clue what to do to fix it.
For nowI guess I'll just go get some sleep, going to take Chance to the playground tomorrow, and then go visiting, maybe I'll feel different in the morning... Probably not.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Will Power be Damned! and other random crap...
So what is going on with me... Well, I got on my Wii fit for the first time since before I got pregnant, I weigh 16lbs less than I did then. So I've been doing my Wii Fit plus exercises daily. Working on doing more stuff with Chance, he loves crafts and art and stuff, so we've made valentine cards, we're going to do family tye dye, we MADE bouncy balls, and i've got a couple of "glitter picture" kits for us to do. Today we spent 2.5 hours at the mall just sitting on one of those couches watching Chance play on the playground there. Can't wait for it to be warm and dry outside so we can walk to the regular playground for him to play. It'll be good for me to get some more exercise.
Jonathan is getting big, he was 8lbs 5oz at his 2 week weigh in, the nurse was impressed, they only expect babies to be back up to birth weight by then. not 6oz over it! Especially when they are breastfed only. He's been eating like crazy this week, growth spurt, I understand why some women give up and supplement, It's like he's constantly stuck to my boob!
Speaking of feeding, I've been getting frustrated lately. I feel like nothing is getting done around the house, Stuff IS getting done, just not very much very fast, and its like we manage to mess it up much faster than we can get it clean. I want to go clean up, but I am always feeding baby, and then I feel like I'm making Toby do all the work, which is frustrating, But then when baby is sleeping and I do get a chance to clean, and Toby is doing his own thing, playing video games or whatever, I get annoyed that he isn't doing anything to help me. It's silly I know, I know he does a lot, more than I do i'm sure of it! I should respect that (and I DO!) but I still can't help but be annoyed when I use what little baby free time I have to do chores, and he uses it playing video games. It's definately a mental thing.
My goal for tomorrow is to express some milk, so Toby can feed the baby. at night. while I sleep. hehe! Just kidding, but it will be nice to have Toby feed him once in a while, maybe I won't feel so frustrated and annoyed all the time if I get a little bit more time with my boobs put away. I'm also going to do some tidying around the house. Toby and Chance are going to make Icing after Chance gets home from school. Chocolate, Vanilla and Strawberry flavored! YUM!In the evening once Chance is asleep and baby is napping, I might try making some soap. I'm really excited to start doing that, but I just haven't had a chance yet. I have everything i need now, So hopefully tomorrow! But the boys need to be asleep because Chance will want to help me, and I don't think i'm ready for that just yet. Other than that It'll be a day of feeding the baby and watching TV mostly. Although I just remembered i need to put plastic wrap on my V-day poster... I'll do that saturday I think. Oh! All of my Valentines stuff is done and ready to go except the 3 things I need from the grocery store that I can't get till Saturday. I'm so excited! We are going to do it Sunday, because Chance will be home Monday and that would make the evening I have planned essentially impossible to pull off! But I have his gift ready for when he coems home. He's going to love it. A Spongebob heart box of gummy candy, a puppy stuffy toy, he loves puppies! and a puzzle, he loves puzzles too!
Well, I better go, Baby is bound to wake up soon to eat. Have a great week!
Krysis
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Valentines Play
Oh, My God! Valentines Day is lless than 2 weeks away? I have no idea what I'm going to do this year. Last year i was AWESOME, I planned out this awesome adventure with little riddles in plastic heart containers that sent him fro one place to another to do this and that, I got him a game he wanted, breakfast in bed, lunch out, a fancy romancy hotel room for the night, dinner out, and all sorts of good stuff! It took alot of work but it was soooo worthwhile! This year, I didn't realize it was almost valentines day till like, yesterday, we have a newborn baby, and i have no clue what to do. I'm cool with dollar store goodness i really am, I'm thinking i might go there and se what i can dredge up... I'm thinking chocolate covered strawberries right, and i got this idea, Hersheys kisses making a path to the bathroom, and roses hanging from the showerhead, and a poster that says "I've kissed the ground you walk on, and Showered you with roses, now will you please be my valentine?" (I totally stole this idea...) But i dunno how cool that would be. Another idea i have is to make him a little gift basket of candies and such that he likes, i can get the basket and the wrapping goods from the dollar store, i can probably get most of the candy from there too, I'm just not sure what candy to get. It doesn't have to be just candy of course, anything he likes really i can put in there, maybe some 5 year old cheddar... I jsut question whether i can do this in time or not with a newborn! I'll have to find sometime to go to the store without Toby one day, this weekend perhaps... oh and like the day before valentines day for the strawberries...
Ok, but for now i'm going to the grocery store, i'll get the chocolate for the strawberries there, at least one thing done. and maybe some kisses too if i can pull it off without him noticing...
Happy February!
Krysis
Ok, but for now i'm going to the grocery store, i'll get the chocolate for the strawberries there, at least one thing done. and maybe some kisses too if i can pull it off without him noticing...
Happy February!
Krysis
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